I want to write. I know I love writing. I know it is something I love to do. And yet, right now, I haven't the will nor the inclination to do so. My mind is occupied with, well, nothingness.
There are things I want to write about, topics and opinions born in the heat of the moment, in the midst of an averted arguement...a full treatise on human nature when I see a well dressed young man jump a McDonalds queue (and tries to explain to me how there are really TWO queues, even though there is only one server - a tactic that I've seen used countless times here in India whereby the wrongdoer uses the most embarressingly faulty logic to exonnerate themselves. It is important to realize that resolution of some logical issue is not the motivation for such rubbish reasoning. The point is distraction...which worked. I was so intruiged by this stupid statement, wondering how this could be possible, during which time the person went ahead and tried to place his order ahead of me. Fortunately, the sever had more sense and told him to bugger to the back of the queue.)
I think to myself, is this something worth writing? I mean, WHO would be interested in such things? Add to that my general levels of fatigue when I get home, and in the end...writing has fallen out of my routine.
Compare this version of me to a version a year ago...and I see stark differences. Most notably, my thirst for information has waned somewhat, replaced by a more primal urge to "earn more bread"...a focus on banal survivability. This is, after all, what I thought was the hallmark of one's existence in India - the imbuing of a gritty desire to live and survive. What I never thought of was that this might actually dull my thirst for knowledge.
I am, however, pleased to say that I've managed to download my podcasts again and am listening to them with much glee. I've learnt so much more that I did without them, and I hope that re-kindles my thirst. As my internet connectivity still sucks, I still don't have ready access to information, but at least I've found a way to get SOME information.
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